Welcome to Dadmestic.com! A new Website for SAHD’s to connect and find information relevant to them.
In early 2008, I became a dad. It has…truly been, one of the best things that has ever happened to me and in early 2010, it will be happening for a second time!
As usual, I have not taken the traditional role of a man. This is not a new thing for me. I have spent most of my life trying to follow my own path rather than always doing what is expected. This is not a conscious act of defiance, but more a realization of self!
As for being a Stay at Home Dad (or SAHD…which is a terrible acronym)…My wife and I had talked about children for many years. You know…how many we wanted, possible names, and how we wanted to raise them. We had a plan and have stuck to it…for the most part! We had always talked about having a couple kids, a nice house, good friends and a great support system to help us go through the uncharted waters of parenting.
One of the most important things for us was to be involved in our child’s life…help shape them, nurture them and give them the means to survive this thing called life!
So we looked at our situation, similar to the exercise we did in a Baby Preparation Class. You know the one! Make a list of your birth plan: what you want in an ideal world, with “Plan B” on the other side. Lay them out in order; from first to last choice. Then when faced with the reality of the situation…be prepared for “Plan B”
We did that. Ideally, we wanted and expected to be that traditional 1950’s family. The Working Dad, the Stay at home Mom, two kids and a dog. We have accomplished most of this. We do have the dog and are expecting our second child. We even had a white picket fence…for awhile. It all comes down to stability and what we are willing to sacrifice for the good of the family.
As I am self-employed and have been for many years, my income fluctuates…my hours fluctuate…and my ability to provide a consistent, stable environment for my family is a lot harder to do….
Now, my wife is a highly intelligent woman who is earning a good…stable income! The choice was pretty obvious.
To be involved in our child’s life we needed to be more flexible with our plans…after all the 50’s are over!
I still work from home…on a very modified work schedule. And my wife is progressing in her career.
Now, I am not saying everything is perfect. We are still working out a few things as, I think, every couple does. Especially, when entering unfamiliar territory. Now, I am not saying that our situation is for everyone, but it works for us.
As for my role as a Stay at Home Dad:
I have found that we still live in a very sexist, chauvinistic society. Parenting information is still written for and presented to Moms. To find decent information from a male perspective is surprisingly hard and I am hoping to change that.